My tryst with destiny

Dei shanmugam edra vandiya

Friday, November 09, 2007

aduvari matalaku arthalae vaerulae

A *ding* sound from gtalk and then came the query.
XYZ: Hi Ram
Me: Hi

She was my colleague in office. It was diwali time.

XYZ: Advance Diwali wishes.
Me: Thanks. Still working?
XYZ: No waiting for my husband to pick me up.
hey distributed Haldirams sweets worth 500bucks
Me: Mine?
XYZ: there in CUP for X-Mas they might distribute.
Me: But i will be there in india by that time.
XYZ: Oh you are coming? when?

Every chat with my colleagues ends up with "when are you coming?" that too almost daily. They managed to forget the date. This is the problem with every person who left their shore. They think back home everybody is eagerly awaiting for your return or atleast know when you are returning. But in reality, people move on in their lives without them. I am not talking about the family but about friends and acquaintances. Not that i am blaming. It is just a reality. For just two months, i am already being forgotten.

Me: Nov 17

I could have stopped here. but i turned apologetic.

Me: I forgot there was diwali at this time or else i would be there by now.

This is very true. I had the oppurtunity to tell when i can return to india. I totally forgot the festive of lights. The problem is Diwali doesn't come every year in the same date and i am for one know the date only after the TV starts banging your head with the Diwali special programmes. As i forgot that, i gave a date which would allow me to be there at the time of my bro's birthday.

XYZ: How could you forget that? You are not responsible always.
XYZ: What if you are married?
Me: Say that to my family. A man needs marriage to get responsibility.
XYZ: and still manage to forget say your "thalai diwali"?

This is what we call in our college "reverse bias". You say "India should lose" but inside you want india to win. By this way you always win. Same applies to a marriage talk. By the way, i have been infamous as a guy without responsibility in my office. Scant respect for deadline, forgetting everything from my bike key to Visa documents and Mr.ABC's fervent propaganda about this has made me look really irresponsible. Me forgetting about important festival like diwali only contributes to the image.

Me: She would have reminded me and hence i wouldn't have forgotten.
XYZ: the girl wud be in a pathetic condition celebrating thala diwali alone.

"Thalai diwali" or first diwali is the first one that you face after marriage where the bridegroom goes to his father-in-law's house, stays there and tries to reduce the old father's bank balance as much as possible. At this point of time, i have to tell you something. Wherever i go i talk like feminist giving ultimate support to women's cause, supporting like i am woman myself. Still no one believes me. All women i meet end up saying, what you say is good but you don't like a guy who believes in it. This is so beyond comprehension for me. May be this conversation would explain something for me.

Me: Come on..you are underestimating the nagging capabilities of a woman.

Oops i already pressed enter. Now, I myself teared off my feminist camouflage here with my sexist statement.

XYZ: What if your wife is an exception and she celebrates happily without you.

Yeah!! she didn't notice it. Moreover she doesn't mind someone addressing wives as nagging persons. suna pana image apadiyae maintain pannu.

Me: thats kind of cool too. she will get a temporary break from me.
XYZ: adappavi (can't translate is correctly but it is close to ada=hey paavi=sinner")
Me: why i am paavi?
XYZ: you are supposed to fight, how could u be happy without me
Me: i forgot and she didn't bother to tell me. so its even. Why should i fight?
XYZ: no she is punishing you
Me: for what?
XYZ: u being slack.
Me: I don't understand.
XYZ: Ah! leave it you won't understand.. ok ram its time for me to leave. have a nice day.
Me: ok:) bye

Now wait a minute. My wife is not telling me that diwali is around thinking that this is the way of punishing me for not remembering that there is diwali coming. And fighting is expected and if you don't you are a slacker. Maaannnnn!! Women are from venus. Oops another sexist statement.

"You won't understand". This means either of two things.
1. She not treating me like a grown-up as married people have more knowledge about family life than unmarried people.
2. She addresses the entire male community expecting it not to understand what women say.
If 2 is the case, more trouble lies ahead!!

Disclaimer: I didn't have my gtalk chat history with me when i wrote this. So, the words in the conversation might not be exact but they surely covey the gist.

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